my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
