lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
