there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
