STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
