it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
