At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
