Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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