No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
