This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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