haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
