She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
