Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
