he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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