like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
