I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
