i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize