she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
