I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
