Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
