ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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