And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
