Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
