I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
