I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
