dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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