My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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