some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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