Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
