the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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