Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
