Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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