We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
