Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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