we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
