nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My hand turned me down
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize