I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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