Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
