Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
