This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
