this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
