i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
