you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
