im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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