Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
