I wish you could order shots online.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
