if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
