Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
