I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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