It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
