you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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