Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize