WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize