i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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