ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he shaved USA in his pubs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize