i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
