Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
