Non-Jews are for practice
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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