There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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