That's when you crack a 10am beer
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
