You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
