Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
