just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
