i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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