"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
