a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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