Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
