A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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