I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize