My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
