Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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