I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If I die, sorry about rent.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
