go do what you do best...puke behind churches
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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