who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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