lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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