Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
zippers are such a cool invention
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
